A Little About Me

When I was 9, a family with a little boy my age moved in across the street. A few months later he sent me a "check yes or no" note at recess. I checked yes. By the time we were 10, he had told me he was going to marry me one day. And guess what. That shit actually happened. Guess what else. Our parents still live across the street from each other. True story.

That's where the "Girl Next Door" part of my pen name comes from. Well, that, and the fact that I was a TOTAL goody-goody. Snoozefest. Then I went off to college (cue drinking), got married, and birthed some babies (cue swearing). Don't judge. Because I'm real classy about it.

Charming (that's the name that little boy from across the street goes by in this here corner of the internet) and I have two kids. You can read about them here. We've moved around the country a little. We're Texans born and raised (howdy!), then a few years ago we packed up and moved to Utah, and now we live in California. But, not the Hollywood part. And not the cool, hippie save-the-earth part. We live in the part where all the fruit and nuts grow (and I mean that in the literal sense). It's super glamorous.

I love my kids. Crazy hard. Like more than I ever thought possible. Sometimes I write about that.

Even though I'd throw myself in front of a train for them, there are times that those kids I love so freakin' much get on my last damn nerve. Sometimes I write about that.

We're animal people. We've got two dogs, a fish, and a guinea pig. They're part of the family. And just like any true family member does, they annoy the shit out of me regularly. Not real often, but sometimes, I write about that.

I don't do a whole lot of lovey dovey ooey gooey on my blog, but I do believe in soul mates and I know that I found mine in Charming. I love him and he loves me and we remind each other of that every single day. But we also keep it real 'round here. We fight and we yell and sometimes we cuss each other out real good. Sometimes I even write about that.

Judging by the frequency of which I say it, I guess "shit" is my favorite word. It can be used in so many different contexts! It's an amazing gift to the English language, really. Sometimes (a lot) I use it in my posts. You've been warned.

If any of this sounds like your cup of tea, I invite you to stick around. I post often, and since everything I write is pretty much a literary masterpiece, I guarantee you'll be better off having read it.

Oh, and did I mention that I'm a master of sarcasm and smartassery?