Monday, July 28, 2014

What I Was Doing While I Wasn't On Facebook

I'm not saying that I have an addictive personality. I'm just saying I should never try heroin probably. Not that I have been considering it…I'm just saying it's a bad idea for people who have a tendency to get hooked on things. It's actually a really bad idea in general, but especially for those people.

Let's start over.

If you follow followed me on Facebook, you've probably noticed that I've been absent for 2 weeks now. Or maybe I'm giving myself too much credit and you haven't noticed my absence at all. Probably the second one but for my ego's sake we'll go ahead and pretend that the countless hours I spent logged on to faceplace over the years actually meant something and that everyone is missing me terribly.

Okay, then.

I was totally addicted to the thing. What's weird is that I really haven't had much trouble living without it. The ease of it has been kind of shocking, actually.

Here are just a few of the things I've done to fill my time.

I helped my daughter bury my son in sand on the beach. 

I watched my teenager revel in the tranquility of kite-flying.

I hosted a very fancy tea party.

I finished season 2 of 'Orange Is The New Black'. Whoa. Just whoa. Also? Don't judge me. 

My daughter and I had a movie night at home. Those are the best kind, really. 

I started and finished two books. 

I'm  still on the fence about how I feel about The Giver. I had a hard time getting past it's weirdness and I'm lukewarm on the ending. It does make you think, though, and I like books that do that. It's being made into a movie, which should be interesting since the book isn't very long. And also it is weird. Did I already mention that?

There just aren't enough words to sum up Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra. It is heartbreaking, it is triumphant, and it is a true story. She gives a new meaning to the word "perseverance". I cringed and I cried and I cheered. And then I did all those things again. This book has the potential to be life-changing once I figure out the best way to turn my feelings into actions. I finished it several days ago and I still think about it all the time.

I gathered a bunch of tools and hung this laundry room shelf ALL BY MYSELF after tiring of asking my husband forty-seven thousand times to do it. Four months (seriously - I bought the thing at the beginning of April) is apparently how long it takes to wait me out by saying "I'll do it before I go to bed on Sunday." Lies! Four months that he's fed me that line on Saturday morning and four months I've gone to bed Sunday night and managed to not smother him with a pillow because I still had a shelf-less laundry room wall. Anyway. I used a drill and a level and wall anchors and everything and, yeah,  I totally feel like hot shit right about now.

This is the text exchange between us when I sent him the picture of my handiwork. My intention was for him to feel very sad that he never got around to hanging his wife's shelf. I think his feelings are better described as victorious. What an ass.

So, do I miss Facebook? Hells yeah. Reality TV is successful for a reason. Other people's lives are interesting, yo. Facebook allowed me to keep up with what everyone was doing, and now I kind of feel like I live in cave. A cave with plumbing and wi-fi, but still. And while I feel a little LOT out of the loop on what's going on in everyone else's lives, I've been 100% focused on what's going on in mine. And I kind of dig it.

P.S. My Facebook hiatus will continue, but you can still find me on Instagram and Pinterest. (I am a miserable failure on Pinterest but you should probably follow me anyway.)

P.P.S. Now that I'm not on Facebook, my reach is really limited for sharing that I've published a new blog post. So, if you like what you read, and you ARE on Facebook it'd be super cool if YOU shared it with your friends.

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