Wednesday, May 29, 2013

That Seems Like a Lot of Work and Will I Have to Make a Sign?

The other day this conversation happened:

Charming: What's the deal with the Westboro Baptist Church?

Me: What do you mean "what's the deal" with them?

Charming: Like who are they?

Me: Are you serious? You haven't heard of them? I actually know something that's been in the news* that you don't?

Charming: Well. I read CNN. (He says this as if he's supremely smarter than I could ever hope to be.)

Me: I'm sure it has been on CNN at some point, but whatever. It's on Facebook a lot. In a nutshell they are a bunch of assholes that parade around protesting funerals and stuff. They have put themselves in charge of judging everything and everyone and are basically against the Golden Rule and all of the 10 Commandments I think.

Then the conversation ended because I told him to look it up himself but he was playing 'Words With Friends' and didn't feel like it right then. 

*I do not read or watch the news. It is chocked full of horrifying information and I would rather watch people fall off the back of treadmills or funny videos of animals on YouTube. I figure if something really important happens, I'll find out about it somehow. Case in point: The way I found out about Hurricane Katrina is that I have a friend that lives right outside of New Orleans and she called me the day it was going to hit to tell me she was on her way to Mississippi (or somewhere - I don't exactly remember), and that she was going to lose all contact because the state of Louisiana was about to be washed out to sea. I was all, "Oh snap! I did not know that." And she was all, "It's been on the news for like 3 days." And I was all, "Well, that explains it."*

I could never be a member of the Westboro Baptist Church. I mean, despite the fact that they are an embarrassment to the human race and practice the exact opposite of the Christian agenda, their "work" seems positively exhausting. Forever traipsing around the country protesting funerals and whatnot. I'm not even sure exactly what they are protesting, so I went to their website (which I am NOT linking to), but I closed the tab real quick-like because after reading a few lines I got scared that my computer was going to spontaneously burst into flames.

In any case, what they do looks like a lot of work. Keeping up with the all the people that need to be judged is probably a full-time job or something. I would be terrible at it. They'd come to me and say, "We're going to protest again. Pack your bags. Make some signs." And I'd be like, "Fuuuuu...can't I just stay back this time and troll around Facebook or something? I hate making signs."

There are people in this world who have all kinds of boundless energy to put to use marching around from morning 'til night with homemade signs and spewing hatred all over the streets. I am not one of those people. Aside from the copious amounts of walking and my general aversion to hatred spewing, I DESPISE making signs. I saw this picture on Facebook once of a person holding a sign that said, "I'm So Pissed Off I Made This Sign." While hilarious, I do not foresee me being that pissed off about anything. Because making signs sucks. First, you have to go to the store to buy poster board and markers, unless you keep those things on hand, which I obviously don't because why would I if I hate making signs so much? What else does someone do with poster board and markers? Then you've got to come up with something clever to say on your sign, which I think I might could do if I hated something enough. Which I don't. Except for making signs. So, on second thought, maybe the aforementioned sign would work for me after all.

I do not know what has happened here. I had no intention of this post being about my hatred of sign making. While I really don't like to make signs, I do not believe it to be a blog-worthy topic. I actually do have a point, believe it or not.

Being judgey and the effort it takes. That's it. 

The day after Charming and I had the conversation about Westboro Baptist Church, I was listening to the radio in my car. There is a local station that regularly surveys community members to ask their opinions on different subjects. They are usually hot-button social issues and I imagine they do this segment to see if they can get anyone to say something especially asshole-ish so they can put it on the air in order to spice up their otherwise boring commentary. This particular day, they asked people's opinion on having children out of wedlock. Of course, there were the "holier than thou's" that preached of its wrongness, there were the people that got mad because they, themselves, had children out of wedlock and why do people have to be so judgmental, and then there was the girl that said...

"Just like with anything else, as long as they are good people and good parents, I don't really think it's any of my business." 

 I just about wrecked my car. Because holy shit someone please make this girl President of the world.

 Clicking on this sign does not in any way spew hatred. It's actually the exact opposite. So you should do it. Click on it, I mean.


  1. I heard a theory the other day that the WBC doesn't actually believe any of the insanity that that spew. Most of them are lawyers, and their goal is to piss people off so bad that they get assaulted. Then they can sue. That makes a lot more sense to me that the alternative.

    1. I have heard this as well and am inclined to believe it, if only because I don't want to believe the alternative...

  2. My thoughts exactly...If they are good people..who cares?! I don't judge because I really don't want people judging me when I walk to the mailbox in the AM in my pj's with an already alcoholic beverage in my hand. And I don't watch the news either due to content that makes me drink I watch the housewives, yeah I still drink the same, but it's more fun watching them. :)

  3. That's odd you writing about Westboro. About a week ago, I got a little curious and thought I'd look at their site.


    The world needs more love and sparkles. Not more Judgey McJudgesters.

  4. We think you should burn your computer. Just going to that site will surely have ramifications!

    Your Pals and not members of THAT church,

    Murphy & Stanley

  5. I'm not a sign maker either, but now that I have a kid in school, I am a sign storer. Not really signs, I guess, but projects about polar bears and such that are made on poster board that I have to keep. Forever? Probably not. But at least a year, and I am not equipped for that kind of organization.

  6. when I walk to the mailbox within the AM in my jammies with AN already intoxicant in my hand. and that i do not watch the news either owing to content that creates Pine Tree State drink a lot I watch the housewives,Challenge coins


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