Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I Don't Always Bake...

A couple of weeks ago, I decided Wednesdays would be my day to get stuff done. I would drop the kids off at school, go home, do some laundry, straighten up the house, and run all of my errands. 

So today, I dropped the kids off at school, re-started the same load in the washing machine for the 3rd time this week, stacked the breakfast dishes neatly in the sink, THE INTERNET, and went to spend my Kohl's cash before I could forget about it and let it expire. Because how can anyone not feel good about shopping at Kohl's? Buy 4 items and the average savings is around $300,000. It's as if they are paying me to shop there.

Oh, and I also put a bag of clothes in the car that needed to go the cleaners, but forgot to drop them off even though they were SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT NEXT TO ME. It's still there.

All in all, a successful day.

I wasn't going to write today, given how I've totally outdone myself on the productivity meter, but I said to myself, "Self, I know you're exhausted, but you really need to gut this out. Don't be selfish."

So, here I am. Working my fingers to the bone. For you.


I'm going to do something different and share a recipe. I don't usually share recipes because I don't cook interesting things. My family won't eat anything remotely adventurous, so I refuse to spend hours in the kitchen preparing elaborate meals just to sit at a dinner table watching them push the food around their plates with looks on their faces that suggest I served them a pile of baboon intestines. That makes me feel stabby and I don't want to go to prison, y'all.

But, this is something that all of them will eat, along with (I'm guessing) a large percentage of you people. Because why? Because cookies.

I'm not usually a fan of making homemade cookies because it's a lot of trouble, it's messy, and we always end up eating half of them immediately and then throwing the other half of them away because we have amazing amounts of self control and will power. I prefer the store bought break and bake option because you can bake just a few at a time. But they don't last long in our house and those suckers get expensive. Not only am I lazy when it comes to baking, but I'm also cheap.

Tink loves to bake. So I let her do it while I supervise. From the living room. With a glass of wine. Don't judge. She's almost in junior high and no knives are required for cookie baking. She found an AWESOME recipe for homemade chocolate chip cookies (we made a few adjustments) and guess what - they freeze beautifully, and (in my opinion) they are even better when baked from frozen! So, we (she) makes up the dough and then we (she) freezes it for later.

I give you...


2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened (not melted)
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract (That's not a typo. We use a whole tablespoon.)
1 egg
1 egg yolk (Here's where she needs my help. See? I'm totally an okay-ish mom.)
1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

Sift together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Put it aside.

In a separate bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, and white sugar. Beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk. Mix in the sifted ingredients until well blended (a stand mixer makes this part infinitely easier). Last, stir in the chocolate chips. If you're not afraid of salmonella, eat some of the dough.* It's delicious.

If you want to cook the cookies right away, you should have preheated the oven to 325 degrees. Be prepared next time. Bake them for 13-15 minutes (or until they reach the doneness you prefer. Apparently "doneness" isn't a word according to my spellchecker. Whatever I'm not changing it.)

To freeze the cookies for later, scoop spoon-sized amounts of dough onto a cookie sheet. We use one of those cookie scooper thingies and usually end up with about 2 1/2 to 3 dozen. Put the cookie sheet in the freezer and leave overnight. Store frozen dough in a gallon-sized freezer bag.

When you're ready for cookies, pull out a few and bake according to the directions above (325 for 13-15 minutes in case you're too lazy to move your eyes up 2 paragraphs).

That's it!

Peace out.

*I am hereby released from any liability if someone trying this recipe contracts salmonella. Everyone knows you're not supposed to eat raw eggs. Sheesh. 

 What do I have to do to get you people to click on this?!?


  1. I double my chocolate chip recipe so I can freeze a bunch of them for later. "Later" ends up being multiple trips the freezer for a ball of dough that I eat. Frozen.

    You are so right about the frozen balls making better cookies. I put a tiny bit of sea salt on top before baking. BOOM.

    1. Yep. I've eaten it from frozen too. Frozen SOLID.

      Sea salt on chocolate chip cookies? Where have you been all my life?

  2. What? Cookie dough turns into COOKIES??? I wouldn't know, it never lasts that long in my house.

  3. You got a blog-lift! I like it, Fancy Pants!

    "Because cookies." Probably one of the most profound sentences ever.

    1. People are always telling me how profound my statements are.

      No. What I meant to say it that people are never telling me that.

  4. OMG KOHL'S. Just spent my Kohl's cash two days ago. I even have my husband convinced that they pay me to shop there. I love their Rock & Republic brand because the shorts are long enough that my lady-bits don't hang out, but trendy enough and properly-fitted so that I don't look like one of the ladies from that SNL skit about mom jeans. (Front-butt, anyone??)

    Oh and cookies. I just got down to my goal weight, so I just browsed through that section and instantly erased it from my memory. What is a "cookie" anyway?

    1. Seriously! What is with the crazy short shorts? I mean, can we get a happy medium between hoochie length and clam diggers? Good Lord.

      I haven't tried their Rock & Republic stuff. I have bought several things from the Vera Wang line and some of the Dana Buchman. Because I'm not very cool.

  5. Here we are trying to catch up on stuffs. We notice that you commit to accomplishing stuffs on Wednesday and school is almost out? That is crazy! We think you should commit to eating more of those cookies and the ones you cannot eat you should just send to us. Now THAT is a good idea!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley


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