Have you heard of Furby? It was originally launched in the late 90's and made a real comeback last year. It reminds me a lot of Gizmo from "The Gremlins", and it's just about as creepy. I read a blog post around Christmas about someone getting a Furby for their kid. A lady left a comment re-telling a story of when she had one when she was younger. She told of how she let the batteries die and instead of replacing them, she tossed little Furby in the closet all Toy Story style and eventually forgot about it. You feel sorry for little ol' Furby, right? Wait. One night A COUPLE OF YEARS LATER while the girl was sleeping, poor forgotten Furby buried in the closet somehow sucked enough of the remaining battery to "wake up" and say...wait for it..."It's dark in here." WHATHEFUUUUUU?!? I'd have to light that sonbitch on fire.
Then there's the infamous "Ouija Board". I couldn't hardly even type that, y'all. That game freaked my shit when I was in junior high. Here's how it went down. I spent the night with a friend and their home phone hadn't been working for a couple of days. We couldn't even entertain ourselves by calling all our other friends that weren't there (pre cell phone days and all). What's a teenager to do with no telephone? Well, we decided we'd play that "game". We were joking around and asking it stupid questions, each of us accusing the other of pushing the little game piece thingy. Then one of us got the bright idea to ask it the question, "If you're real, show us a sign." And that's when the telephone rang. The phone that had been out of service for the past two days. You have never seen two adolescent girls exit a house so fast in your life. I'm surprised I ever went back. I'd like to say we lit the thing on fire, but we were too scared. They can actually probably light themselves on fire. Great. Now I've dug up this memory and I doubt I'll sleep tonight. The things I do for you guys.
There will be no picture of the Ouija Board because I refuse to Google it to find one.
I don't even know if they still make them and I really don't care because NO.
A couple of weeks ago my kids found this game in one of our many "junk" drawers called "20 Q". Have you heard of it? We bought it years ago for a road trip and I had forgotten about it. It's a little handheld electronic game that has you think of something - anything - and it then asks a series of (fairly general) questions to try and derive the answer to what it is. It freaks me out because I swear it reads minds. We're so blown away by this stupid game that we won't even say what our item is out loud because we're convinced it can hear us. Don't judge. We always pick things that we are sure there is no way it will guess. But it does. Almost every time. Here's an example of the questions and answers we gave it last night (you can choose either yes, no, sometimes, or unknown as your answer).
1. Vegetable Animal Mineral Other? Other
2. Do you hold it when you use it? Yes
3. Is it made of plastic? No
4. Is it a common household object? Yes
5. Does it bring joy to people? Yes
6. Is it flat? No
7. Does it get wet? Yes
8. Can you see through it? Sometimes
9. Is it cold? Sometimes
10. Does it open? Yes
11. Can you recycle it? No
12. Is it tasty? No
13. Is it clear? Sometimes
14. Can you smell it? Yes
15. Does it break if dropped? Yes
16. Is it colorful? Yes
17. Is it round? No
18. Does it smell sweet? No
19. Is it fragile? Yes
20. Is it larger than a pound of butter? No
At this point it asked, "Is it a perfume bottle?" Our answer is no (although that was a good guess). When that happens, it asks 5 more questions.
21. Can it be re-filled? No
22. Does it have a good smell? No
23. Does it come in a box? No
24. Do you wear it? Yes
25. Is it soft? No
Do YOU know what it is? No. You don't. Because how the hell would you know from those questions? And seeing them written down like that freaks me out even more.
"Is it fingernail polish?"
Yes. It is fingernail polish. Shit on a shingle it guessed fingernail polish.
Other items it has guessed include chapstick, dog collar, swingset, coyote (why didn't it just guess "dog"?), and creepiest of all, itself. As in our object was the game '20 Q' and its guess was "Is it 20Q?"
Now, if you'll excuse me...I've gotta go start a fire.
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