Sunday, March 31, 2013

11 Things (Because 10 is So Cliche) I Learned on Family Vacation

We went on a four day family vacation last week. I use the term "vacation" because we weren't at home, but it was in no way leisurely. Fun? Yes. Relaxing? Not even a little bit.

We went to Disneyland. Because it costs a small fortune to spend a day in the parks, I transform into what my family refers to as "Disney Drill Sergeant" from the minute we get out of the car. We are going to to see EVERYTHING, dammit

Day 1: Arrive at parks at 9 a.m. Leave parks at 9 p.m.

Day 2: Arrive at parks at 9 a.m. Leave parks at 10 p.m.

Day 3: Arrive at parks at 9 a.m. Leave parks at 6 p.m. Drink beers. (Not the kids, of course.)

That's 34 out of 72 hours of TOTAL FAMILY TOGETHERNESS. Despite the horrendous crowds and the fact that we walked ourselves ragged, I can honestly was awesome. Here are some things I learned.

1. After 3 solid days of walking and standing in lines with virtually no complaining, the argument of "My legs are too tired to walk anymore," after one hour at at the mall is NO LONGER VALID.

2. Despite efforts to bring our own snacks, Disney's marketing plan of placing food carts every 50 feet totally works. Because it's hard to pack cotton candy, turkey legs, and Mickey Mouse shaped ice cream sandwiches in a backpack. Well played, Disney.

3. After spending $65 at a "table service" dining location, $30 for 4 hot dogs seems like a bargain.

4. Not all teenagers are obnoxious. But in regards to the ones that are, it's really a miracle that you don't see more headlines announcing "Teen slapped by complete stranger" in the news.

5. Divorce lawyers could make a killing standing outside the exit of 'Tower of Terror' for occasions where the husband convinced the wife to go on the ride because, "It's really not bad and it only drops like one time." Not that I'd know from experience...just a guess.

6. I am not a very good role model to our children for facing your fears when it comes to heights and small enclosed dark spaces. I also have a quite piercing scream. See number 5.

7. "Unplugging" (at least 90% of the time) for 3 days will not kill you.

8. As long as your kids aren't too old to want to have their picture taken with a Disney character, you're not too busy to wait in line to do it.

9. There are very few places in the world where wearing mouse ears makes you cooler.

10. Watching your husband be a kid with his kids will make you fall in love with him all over again. (And possibly forget - I said possibly - about number 5.)

11. You're never too old for Disneyland. 

Drill Sergeant says "CLICK ON THIS BANNER!"


  1. You are never too old for either Disney park! HA HA! This was great! THanks for sharing! :-D

    1. No, you're not! I love Disney World, too! (It's just REALLLLY far from the West Coast!)

  2. Oh man, I've been getting the Disney bug lately. We're thinking about going next year to WDW. I'm like you - I maximize every second we're there because it's so stinking expensive. I map out everything we're going to ride and see ahead of time based on books from the library and websites. It's not relaxing at all, but it's still pretty fun. Hopefully, when we finally go, I'll plan a day of just sitting by the pool or something. :-)

    1. I was even WORSE when we went to Disney World. SO. MANY. THINGS. I definitely agree with a "relax" day. Next time we go I'm for sure going to include one of those in the schedule.

  3. So fun! I want to take my kids to Disney in the worst way!

    1. It's definitely one of my very favorite places to go. I get just as excited (maybe even more) as the kids about it!

  4. So I'm really finicky about designating blog posts as "funny," cuz, well it's really hard to write funny. But you, darling, win my prestigious FUNNY ribbon. It's imaginary, but it's real shiny.
    Also I think I learned more about going to Disneyland than I have anywhere else.

  5. Sweet memories!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  6. I love #4! Having a 13 year old son, I have been know to want to slap a teenager and I am NOT a stranger! Just for the record I have NOT slapped a teenager, yet LOL

    1. I was seriously amazed at my self control some of the time. ;)

  7. This is awesome! Send it to Disney!! Been there - Done that trip a bunch, and this is perfect! :)


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