Wednesday, February 13, 2013

He's Such a Romantic and Almost Ruined Disney for Me

ALL THE PARENTALS AND FRIENDS OF THE PARENTALS  SHOULD PROBABLY STOP READING RIGHT NOW. JUST GO AHEAD AND SHUT IT DOWN. IF YOU CANNOT RESIST THE TEMPTATION, YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE NEVER TO SPEAK OF THIS AND YOU CAN NOT UN-KNOW WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


Since it's the week of Valentine's Day, today and tomorrow's posts will be "romance" themed. Don't worry...my idea of romance (not unlike my sense of humor) is a teeny bit warped. So there will be no sappy pukefest happening here.

Also, I don't know why I felt compelled to put that disclaimer up there. I mean for crying out loud  - Charming and I have been married almost 16 years and we've got two kids. I've never been a wild child, but I'm pretty sure our parents are under no illusion that our kids were born a couple of immaculate conceptions that somehow missed making headlines. Anyway, we've never been the family that talks openly about sex - or any topic that could lead toward the remote possibility of talking about sex. But whatever. It is what it is so I'll just talk about it to the whole internet instead. (Don't get too excited...I'm not about to be inappropriate. I'm a Southern LADY after all.)

Wow. Sixteen years! That's a long time. Even so, we still have the *spark* in our relationship. We hug and we kiss and we grab each others ass when we pass by one another in the kitchen. We're playful like that. I think it would make me sad to be any other way.

Last night I was standing at the sink cleaning up after dinner when Charming came over and started rubbing my shoulders. His hands felt different. Then he moved them down my back, around my waist, and up....up....

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

He, on the other hand, was cracking up. Why, if I'm so "playful", did I have this reaction you wonder? Because he was feeling me up with the giant Mickey Mouse hands we bought for Dimples at Disney Land last year. So many kinds of wrong.


These hands. On my body.

"If you don't stop it right now, I will never be able to look at Mickey Mouse the same. Don't ruin Disney for me. Come on. Put away the hands."




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15 comments:

  1. Of course if you were a dog it would be much easier - LOL! That is until somebody neuters you!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley
    Online Doods

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think I even want to KNOW what you mean by that.

      Delete
  2. Hahahhahaaaa! Similar experience with Harry Potter being ruined forever for by Hubbs... No, no... nothing to do with a wand. Why are they so twisted?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Men are twisted because they think about sex ninety-seven million times a day. With a one-track mind like that how could they NOT be?

      Delete
  3. Well, there are worse ways to try and spice things up. Better a husband who tries Mickey Hands than handcuffs!

    ReplyDelete
  4. HaHa!!! That is so funny! Would totally ruin Mickey for me. Give it up to him for trying to shake things up a bit? ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, he tries to "shake things up" a lot. The Mickey hands were just a new one. Gotta give him props for originality, though! ;)

      Delete
  5. Gotta admit.. read the disclaimer.. and kept on reading.. But ya know.. Disney isn't that innocent themselves.. I mean, Donal Duck doesn't even wear pants for crying out loud!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The disclaimer was mostly for our parents, so it's cool that you read on. I'd never thought about that with Donald...what a perv.

      Delete
  6. It could have been worse. He could have been wearing Freddy Krueger gloves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True. But I haven't scheduled a trip that would include me running into Freddy Krueger, either.

      Delete
  7. Is that why Minnie Mouse is always smiling?

    ReplyDelete
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