ALL THE PARENTALS AND FRIENDS OF THE PARENTALS SHOULD PROBABLY STOP READING RIGHT NOW. JUST GO AHEAD AND SHUT IT DOWN. IF YOU CANNOT RESIST THE TEMPTATION, YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE NEVER TO SPEAK OF THIS AND YOU CAN NOT UN-KNOW WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Since it's the week of Valentine's Day, today and tomorrow's posts will be "romance" themed. Don't worry...my idea of romance (not unlike my sense of humor) is a teeny bit warped. So there will be no sappy pukefest happening here.
Also, I don't know why I felt compelled to put that disclaimer up there. I mean for crying out loud - Charming and I have been married almost 16 years and we've got two kids. I've never been a wild child, but I'm pretty sure our parents are under no illusion that our kids were born a couple of immaculate conceptions that somehow missed making headlines. Anyway, we've never been the family that talks openly about sex - or any topic that could lead toward the remote possibility of talking about sex. But whatever. It is what it is so I'll just talk about it to the whole internet instead. (Don't get too excited...I'm not about to be inappropriate. I'm a Southern LADY after all.)
Wow. Sixteen years! That's a long time. Even so, we still have the *spark* in our relationship. We hug and we kiss and we grab each others ass when we pass by one another in the kitchen. We're playful like that. I think it would make me sad to be any other way.
Last night I was standing at the sink cleaning up after dinner when Charming came over and started rubbing my shoulders. His hands felt different. Then he moved them down my back, around my waist, and up....up....
"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
He, on the other hand, was cracking up. Why, if I'm so "playful", did I have this reaction you wonder? Because he was feeling me up with the giant Mickey Mouse hands we bought for Dimples at Disney Land last year. So many kinds of wrong.
|These hands. On my body.|
"If you don't stop it right now, I will never be able to look at Mickey Mouse the same. Don't ruin Disney for me. Come on. Put away the hands."
Come on and feel up this button! It's your LAST CHANCE to vote!