Tuesday, February 12, 2013

All The Single Ladies

Charming frequently travels for his job. The length of time varies, and sometimes it's only for a day or two. I joke about the benefits of having a traveling husband. I have ultimate control over the tv remote. It's a convenient excuse to get take-out instead of actually cook dinner. The house stays a lot cleaner. Okay, maybe that last one isn't always true. But, mostly when he's gone...it sucks.

He was traveling all week last week. And it sucked. It sucked because both kids were sick. It sucked because I was trying (to no avail) to work on our taxes. It sucked because I never sleep well when he's gone. It sucked because by the end of the week I was exhausted.

Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself about this particular aspect of my life, I remind myself that it could always be worse. My husband comes home on the weekends. When he's not home, he's in an office with access to email and text and face time and telephones, where I can reach him almost any time of day.

Sometimes when I'm in the middle of my pity party for one complete with my giant glass of wine and assortment of confections, I realize I deserve a swift kick in the teeth. Because OMG it could be so much worse.

I remember those moms that really do it on their own. Always. Every day. And from the brief glimpse of single parenting I get while Charming is off doing...whatever it is he does, I can see how that shit has got to be tough.

You get every middle-of-the-night puke duty or baby-feeding (or both!) shift.
You handle all of the homework battles.
You take the blame for all of the discipline problems.
You shuttle to dance or baseball or soccer or piano; or you don't because you simply just can't.
You shoo away all of the monsters under the bed.
You console after all the nightmares.
You wipe all of the tears. And noses. And rears. 
You lie awake listening for all the noises.
You always have to remember trash day. 
You carry all the burden of worry that you're doing. everything. wrong.

Perhaps you are a divorcee or a widow or a military wife. Maybe your heart was broken or you lost the love of your life or you have no idea where in the world your spouse has been deployed. Or maybe you're happy in your singledom and that way by choice. All I know is that even though I consider myself to be quite independent, parenting is hard. Like stupid hard. It's nice to have a partner in crime if for nothing else than to look to the other and say, "Your turn." 

To all you single parents out there - I salute you.




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8 comments:

  1. Boy isn't that the truth. Parenting is Hard! I salute all those single parents too! Great post!

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  2. YES! Serious mad props to those single parents. Well said.

    I have a hard time sleeping when my husband is out of town, too. I usually sleep on the couch the entire time he's gone. Mostly because I fall asleep watching tv and he's not around to send me to bed.

    Wiping tears and wiping rears would be an awesome blog byline.

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    Replies
    1. I've thought about sleeping on the couch when he's gone. I find there to be something less lonely about sleeping in the living room with the TV on instead of alone in our big bed.

      I actually think I've used "wiping tear and wiping rears" in another post. But I can't remember which one.

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  3. Yup, it is a hard job for 2 much less one!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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