Don't misinterpret this to mean that I go around crying "Woe is me!" and boobing about every little thing that doesn't go my way. Okay, sometimes I boob about little things that don't go my way. But honestly, I think my life is pretty great. I've got a couple of awesome kids, a hard-working husband, a house, some pets that have only ruined a moderately objectionable number of household items, a great family, and lots of cool friends.
Oops. So I shot out a few rainbows just then.
But, you know the kind person I'm talking about, don't you? The rainbow shooters. Everything is always perfect. Their marriage is perfect. Their kids are perfect. Their jobs are perfect. Their house is perfect. Their friends are perfect. You have a conversation with them and leave wondering why the hell your life is such a shitstorm.
It's hard to relate.
I think the general consensus when it comes to relationships is that we want to surround ourselves with people who make us feel better about our lives and ourselves. Not because their lives are worse, but because after you "invite them in" to know the real you, they return the favor. You share with each other the good and the bad. Not only do you get to see the highlight reel, but the deleted scenes as well.
I maintain a pretty open door policy. I imagine a facade of perfection would have to be exhausting to maintain, so this is what you get from me...
My kids. They are awesome. Most of the time. But sometimes they act like little assholes. They fight with each other. They back-talk. They don't listen. They pout. They act like spoiled brats. 4 out of 5 nights I have to tell them 837 times to brush their teeth and go to bed. But I love them more fiercely than I have ever loved anything. And they love me back.
I love Charming. I believe with every fiber of my being that he is my soulmate. I hope we grow to be crotchety old people together. But he can piss me off like no one else on earth. That man can make me utter strings of cuss words that would make a newly-docked sailor blush. We yell and we fight and we give each other the silent treatment. And then we realize we are both being stubborn jackasses and we laugh about it, and say "I'm Sorry" (sometimes through clenched teeth), and move on.
We've managed to achieve the American dream of home ownership. Our home is cozy and comfortable. But it comes with a hefty mortgage and lots of maintenance. It is always a mess and takes forever to clean. There is always a project that needs to be done and you can bet it is going to cost twice what we thought. Our California property taxes suggest we live on our own private island (we don't). But we are more fortunate than most people in the world and I am grateful to have a roof over my family's head along with the other luxuries underneath it (internet) that we are lucky enough to enjoy.
We are animal people. We have had numerous pets during our marriage and currently have 2 dogs, a fish, and a guinea pig. They all stink (yes, even the fish). They cost money every time I turn around. They do annoying shit like poop in the living room floor (dog) and rattle their cage in the middle of the night so you have no choice but to get up and feed them (guinea pig). But they add a particular joy and uniqueness to our family that make the unpleasantries worth it.
I've somehow managed to procure a respectable number of friends during my lifetime (shocking, right?!). Some I talk to every day. Some I talk to once a year. Some have drifted. Others remain a constant. I have fought with almost all of them. I don't see any of them nearly as frequently as I'd like. Some have offended me and I them. But they have all played an important part in my personal growth and will hold a place in my heart forever.
So, that's that. I let you in. That's my real and imperfect life.
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