Wednesday, November 28, 2012

This is Harder Than I Thought and an Itty Bitty F-Bomb

ATTENTION MOM AND MOTHER IN LAW AND ANY OTHER PARENTAL FIGURE IN MY LIFE THAT MIGHT BE READING THIS: STOP NOW. CLOSE THE TAB. JUST DO IT.

So. I've been having a bit of "blog name remorse" as of late. When I first thought of it I was all, "Look how clever and original I am!" and now I'm more like, "Blech."

I didn't want to have the word "mom" in my name because sometimes I want to write about something else. And because sometimes, there's more to me than "a mom". I know. THE HORROR!

The whole premise behind my "name" is that for basically my entire life, I've been known as the quiet one. The one that never got into any trouble. The rule follower. The pleaser. The goody-goody. B-O-R-I-N-G. And...not entirely true. I mean, it's not like I grow weed in the basement or go on weekend benders (at least not most weekends), but neither am I the innocent and naive girl/woman/mom that I have have always been perceived to be (people that know me in real life already know this). I felt like this blog was giving me the opportunity to be the "real me". Also, if you haven't read up about me, I grew up across the street from the boy that I would eventually marry. So, I was "the girl next door" in quite a literal sense as well.

And then I was scrolling through the guide while watching TV the other night and saw "The Girls Next Door". And I freak out. If you haven't seen it, it's about Hugh Hefner and three Playboy bunnies that lived with him. OhshitOhshitOhshitOhshit. Even more remorse. SO NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL NEXT DOOR. Oh, well. Maybe it's earned me a few readers. You pervs. And also, Welcome!

The idea was to get away from having to write about any ONE single topic. I'm pretty much all over the map. But I still somehow feel as if I've backed myself into a corner. Like I've named myself as someone that stays hammered and constantly throws out F-bombs, and that if I don't write like that then I'm a fraud. Well, that's not me either. Sometimes I use "the F word" in real life. But, I sound SO ridiculous when I say it. I only use it when I'm REALLY REALLY mad about something and Charming can't even keep a straight face when I say it. He literally laughs at me - even if I'm yelling at him (not that I ever yell at him) - so it kind of loses its effectiveness at that point. I've come really close to using it in my blog a couple of times, but have backed out because I hear myself say it as I type and...I sound ridiculous. Then my Mom decides to tell me "I wish you wouldn't use it" (which of course makes me want to use it THAT MUCH MORE), and Charming says, "I just don't think you're there yet." And I think "You don't even read this so your opinion doesn't matter and WTF does that even mean?" (See, I don't have a problem with acronyms.)

There are literally MILLIONS of mom bloggers and they are smart and clever and well-spoken and hilarious and sometimes I sit and think, "I am pissing in the ocean over here." Especially today. When I have writer's block and can't think of anything to write about other than my lack of F-bomb usage and I'm thinking about how I haven't been giving this my best effort lately and how everyone else is better than me so I should really post something even if it is shit. And now I have created a run-on sentence.

Fuck. Blogging is hard.

(Sorry, couldn't resist that solid opportunity.)


12 comments:

  1. As you are aware, my mom is an advocate of properly using the F-bomb. But using it too much will diffuse its power. Although she would agree that in person you would look silly saying it, she thought its use in this context was very effective. It conveyed a certain emotion and a clever ending to the post. Well done!

    Your Santa Paws Seeking Furry Friend,

    Murphy

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    1. Thanks! I agree about overuse. Overuse is not good. Thank goodness I don't write down everything that goes through my head.

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  2. I LOVE your blogs! Makes me smile, even when I don't want to. So keep up the great work...

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  3. LOL. This is such an awesome post. I totally know what you mean about pigeon holing yourself. At first, my blog was going to be about "hot topic" type parenting issues and baby products. Then it sort of turned into a humour-type mommy blog, and then I started reading other humour mommy blogs and I came across a few that were borderline offensive, but it made me think: "Is my blog too Pollyanna?" So, then I thought I should just no holds barred, lay it all out on the table, swearing and saying whatever inappropriate crap entered my brain. Then, I thought, no I think I want to be a "family friendly blog" (whatever the hell that means) and I decided that I wouldn't swear in my blog, and that I wouldn't get too controversial, because I didn't want to deal with all the haters...Anyway, needless to say, it's tricky to carve out a blog identity. I'm still trying to figure it out.

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    1. Thank you! And thank you for reading. This is SO much harder than I ever anticipated. I guess like everything, it takes some trial and error. But, I honestly love it.

      Oh - and I LOVE your blog. Cussing or not, it's so full of awesome.

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  4. I like your name. It was the only reason I followed you. Honest.

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    1. I'm glad you decided to follow me. I wish it was for my outstanding writing, but hey - I'll take it.

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  5. this one made me literally laugh out loud... ah-heck! who am i kidding.. i pretty much laugh out loud to everyone of your blogs.. (but i'm easily amused so don't read too much into it). i did want to see if you have seen/watched nickjr after the kids "bedtime"? it turns into nickmom.... and well... it reminds me of you and this blog and your sense of humor... if you havent seen it.. tune in sometime.. :)

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    1. I haven't seen NickMom. I've heard of it. They actually have a website that some of the bloggers I follow write for. It's great!

      Thanks for reading, Angie!

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  6. Loved this post! We've all been where you are. And I love your blog name. Keep it, and keep writing! :)

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind words!

      I had no idea there would be so many ups and downs in this blogging thing. I love it, but it messes with my mind sometimes!

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