Monday, November 5, 2012

Skinny Shminny

I'm pretty average. I'm not skinny, I'm not overweight. I'm "softer" than I used to be, but so it goes when you hit 30 something and your metabolism suddenly decides to go on permanent vacation. I've always been moderately active, but I've noticed that it takes a lot more effort to work off Halloween and Thanksgiving (and all the days in between) than it did when I was 25.

I see all of these ridiculous boards on Pinterest (don't worry - I'm not about to go on another Pinterest rant) about fitness and workouts and basically how being skinny makes you pretty. They are usually paired with a picture of some woman's abs or her borderline manly biceps. They annoy me and I personally feel that they send a terrible message about body image and societal expectations. If you don't fit a certain mold you are clearly substandard. Blech.

A few years ago Kate Moss was quoted, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". I'm not "skinny", so I don't guess I really know if it's true. I've tasted pizza and I'm pretty sure I could go head to head with her in a debate over that opinion. Of course I'd have sustenance on my side since I would have eaten in the last week. Anyway, I see that quote everywhere these days. And it pisses me off. I actually came across a picture of a CHILD wearing a t-shirt with that printed on it. Future eating disorder, anyone?

I'm all for fitness and health. I don't think it's appropriate to feed my children McDonald's every day. I think it is important to teach them to be active and that rotting their brains out on television and video games all day is a bad idea. But, I want them to do it for health reasons...not for fear of being called "fat". 

I have come to the realization over the last couple of years that I should probably adjust my expectation of what "fitness" means to me. It used to be a number on a scale or a jeans size. Sometimes I let it bother me that I don't look like I did when I first got married or that those "pre-pregnancy" jeans I've let hang in the closet all these years really should find another home. It has been 7 1/2 years since I last gave birth. Baby weight is really no longer a valid excuse (dammit). It is time. 

As much as I'd love to have my 20-something body back, I think I'd be better off looking at eating right and staying active as a means to stay healthy rather than to meet someone else's expectations of "beautiful".

I have therefore compiled a short list of the top reasons I'll never be "skinny".

1. Pizza. Or any other food made of cheese and bread.
2. I am incredibly persuasive. I can talk myself out of going to the gym any time I want.
3. Coffee, beer, wine, and a wide variety of other high-calorie beverages that I feel increase my quality of life.
4. Cupcakes. Even though they are made of the same ingredients as actual cake, they are cuter and therefore irresistible.
5. I am an omnivore. And I lean heavily towards the meat-eater side of that classification. We are at the top of the food chain, people. Make the most of it.
6. Ranch dressing. It is unnecessary to elaborate.
7. I love fruit. I love it more when it is inside of a baked good or accompanied by cream cheese.
8. I'm from Texas. The land of plenty when it comes to Tex-Mex. Chips and salsa, baby. 
9. Carbs. 
10. Stretchy pants. Thank you, God, for stretchy pants.

I can honestly say I'm not willing to give these things up. Not completely, anyway. Moderation...yeah. Moderation is key. I'm not willing to sustain SOLELY on lettuce and whole grains and other tasteless fare. Or spend every minute of my spare time at the gym (because that would suck). I will not ever be a Kate Moss. And I'm totally okay with that.

1 comment:

  1. Mom says: If you think your metabolism is bad now, wait a couple more decades cuz it's all downhill from here. Indulge now! Oh, and maybe get those running shoes out. Just sayin'

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley


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