Lots of things change when you become a mother. I'm not just talking about the lack of sleep or the fact that you must pack a small arsenal of household items before making a quick (Ha!) trip to the grocery store. I'm not talking about how your jeans don't fit right anymore or how you can no longer go out to dinner without paying a babysitter twice what said dinner costs just so you can have a conversation with your spouse without being interrupted 500 times or having to speak in code.
Before I was a mother, I could walk from one room to another and know exactly why I was there. I didn't put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the refrigerator. I didn't have to hang up my phone so I could go look for...my phone. I made complete sentences and they usually made sense. My brain cells (most of them anyway) worked as a team.
Before I was a mother, I grabbed my purse and walked out the door. I didn't need to go through the weekday morning drill that includes, "Do you have your lunch box, backpack, show and tell, book report, homework? Why are your shoes on the wrong feet? Did you brush your teeth? I think your shirt is on backwards. We'll try to remember to brush your hair tomorrow. Let me get the peanut butter off your forehead."
Before I was a mother, I slept when I felt like it. I didn't have to
worry that if I shut my eyes for 15 minutes, I would risk someone getting into the cleaning products under the sink, or using markers on the walls, or drowning in the
Before I was a mother, I could watch television shows and movies without crying. I never cried. I once watched Steel Magnolias with a friend without shedding a tear. "Do you have no SOUL?",
she asked. "Of course I do! I just don't cry. I'm IN CONTROL." But
now my emotions are what I'd describe as unstable (at best) and I
am no longer "IN CONTROL". The joke's on me. I find myself getting weepy
over Sarah McLachlan songs and Hallmark commercials. Toy Story...forget
about it. It's freakin' ridiculous.
Before I was a mother, I didn't care about another person's meal schedule, poop frequency (the fact that this is necessary is still mind-blowing to me), or snot color. I had never been peed on, pooped on, or vomited on. Neither had I cleaned any of those things out of the carpet.
Before I was a mother, if I was too tired to cook, I'd take a nap and then
order take-out - regardless of how late it was. I didn't worry about balanced meals, and bath time, and
bedtime stories, and tucking in, and goodnight kisses on the forehead.
Before I was a mother...
I had no idea what I was missing.