Tuesday, October 2, 2012

"Handsy" Manny

Charming travels a lot for his job. The kids are very aware of his absence...especially in the middle of the night. There's almost a 100% guarantee that at some point I'm going to wake up to one of them in the bed with me.

Tink, for the most part, is getting a little too cool for that these days, so Dimples is the usual culprit. I think he plans it when he goes to bed. For all I know he lays in his room and waits until I'm asleep, then immediately sneaks in. He's only 7, so I haven't put the nix on it just yet (although, we're getting really close and if you keep reading you'll understand why). 

He's my snuggler...during the day. At night, he turns into a groping maniac. I feel like I should clarify that this only happens after he's asleep. When he's awake, he's completely appropriate, and stays in his designated area. After he slips into dreamland, all bets are off. Personal space means nothing. Not only is he the kid that spins like a helicopter, turning a king-size bed into 6 square inches of sleeping space, but he also gets a bit handsy.

I'm NOT a snuggler when I sleep. People have sides of the bed for a reason. You stay on yours, I'll stay on mine. See that invisible line right there? Don't cross it. I'll get out the Sharpee if I have to. So, when I wake up to legs and arms and hands and feet all over my body uninvited, it makes me a little crazy.

My reaction when I wake up to this in the middle of the night is to jump out of bed and assess the situation. Okay. It's Dimples. Again. I then attempt to move him without waking him up. Given that I have absolutely no upper body strength and he weighs a little over 50 pounds (which somehow turns into 80 when he's sleeping), that doesn't usually work out. I generally end up walking around the bed, grabbing an arm and a leg, and pulling his body to the other side. Most of the time it ends up being painful enough to startle him awake and he rolls right back over to where we started.

"Will you snuggle me until I fall back asleep?" he asks.

A snuggle I'd be okay with. But, 5 minutes ago you were practically molesting me, which is creepy and all together unacceptable. Plus we would have to repeat the previous scenario and I'm too tired to deal with that at 3 a.m. May seem harsh, but I'm gonna have to give the you a big NEGATIVE on the snuggle.

"Sorry, bud. You know how I feel about you sleeping in here. Your space is over there. Stay in it. Now scooch or you're going back to your room."

I've wisened up, and now when I suspect he's going to end up joining me I build a little blockade in the middle of the bed with a few of the 11 pillows I've collected (really...I have 11...I'm a pillow hoarder...an entirely different post in itself). So far, it works, and he knows it's the rule. If he comes in and I have forgotten to build my wall of safety, he usually builds it himself. Boundaries. They must learn them.

For his sake, I really hope he marries a spooner.  


  1. Or at least a woman with a sense of humor!

  2. My Arick is the same way!!!!!! I get out of bed go to the other side and then he ends up over there. Its like he is a mole!


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