Friday, September 21, 2012

What's In a Name

It appears, from what I've seen on other blogs, that I need to give the members of my family aliases. You know, on the off chance that random people I don't know actually start reading this. Seems kind of silly, and probably pointless given the slim chance blogs have of catching on, but I'll play along, and that's how I'll get things started.

I've got two kids. A girl and a boy. The girl is the oldest. Witty, thoughtful, and tender-hearted, she is an all-around sweet child. But, she can also be a live wire and not-so-nice when the mood strikes (or she doesn't get her way). She's little bitty, but she packs a punch. So, I've decided her name will be "Tink" (As in Tinkerbell. That cute little fairy has a nasty streak.). We are inching our way into the teenage years, when I'm sure that unpleasant side will rear it's head a little more frequently. As precious as she is, I am under no delusion that I will not soon be living in the same hell as every other mother with a teenage daughter.

The boy. The baby of the family. He's funny. He laughs a lot, and he makes us laugh a LOT. The first thing every woman he encounters notices about him is his dimples. When he was born, my (female) doctor said, "He has dimples!" before she said anything else. Seriously? What happened to "It's a boy!" Anyway, these dimples...they are powerful...used wisely, they will take him far in life. So, he shall be called "Dimples".

The husband. That's proven to be a tough one. You will find that I am not a mushy, lovey, dovey, sweet pet-name kind of person. He has given me a few suggestions, none of which I  approved. I have decided on "Charming". As in the prince from Cinderella. Wait. Before you go rolling your eyes, hear me out. For all intents and purposes, he IS my Prince Charming in many ways. We met when we were 9 and we weren't much older than that when he told me he was going to marry me. I firmly believe he would search the kingdom far and wide to find me if he needed to (at least he would have before we were married...today he might just let my ass stay lost). He's also smart, witty, and romantic. HOWEVER, the prince in the story was a bit of a bonehead. First, he was out-run by a princess wearing one shoe.  One HIGH-HEELED shoe. Second, his plan to find her was just stupid. And also a huge indication that he paid very little attention to her FACE. Maybe the fairy tale we all read forgot to mention she had huge boobs. I don't know...most people are recognized by ways other than whether or not they can fit into a shoe. Seems fishy. So, MY Charming isn't quite so dim-witted. But, there are a couple of habits I just can't understand, no matter how hard I try...putting the plastic dry cleaning bags in the laundry hamper instead of the trash can (I mean, really?), asking me at 10 p.m. the night before leaving for a business trip if I washed a particular shirt (Of course I did. After all, I'm clairvoyant. And out of the 75 shirts you own, I knew THAT would be the one you wanted to take), looking for an item in the pantry/refrigerator/closet/drawer/cabinet and swearing it's not there...then I finally get up to look and find it within 3 seconds (he's convinced I spend my day hiding things from him. After all, I've got nothing better to do). But for all of his faults, he has three times the charm, so he's my "Charming".  

Me...I don't need a nickname, because I'm the author and I don't typically speak of myself in third person. But, if I DID, it would be "Mary Poppins". Practically perfect in every way. Ha! (For the sarcastically challenged, that was a joke.)

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