Thursday, September 27, 2012

D-Day

I've started a blog. Obviously.  This isn't my first entry, because I wanted to have a few posts before I published it. But, I've decided today's the day. It is now time to embarrass myself and my family by making it public.

Simmer down, family...I'm only kidding...mostly. I can totally see my mother and sister reading this through slits in their fingers, horrified. (They are learning about this at the same time you are.) I have no intention of embarrassing anyone (aside from myself - which I guess even then wouldn't be intentional). No INTENTION. It could technically happen, but by complete accident.

"Why are you writing a blog?" you may ask. I wish I had a really great answer for that. One reason is that several (more than 2 but less than 10) people have suggested in the past year that I should write. Or that if I had a blog they would read it (I guess we'll just see about that now, won't we). But, the truth is...I'm kinda bored. Summer is over, the kids are in school all day, and now I'm a mom and housewife that has a little spare time and enjoys writing.  One day the thought occurred to me, "Maybe I'll start a blog. That is something that can be totally time-consuming and in no way productive. Sounds perfect." So I sat down a few days ago and started one.

How did I come up with the name? Well, it's pretty self-explanatory. I was the textbook "good girl" in high school. And - for the most part - in college. Then I got married, had kids, and shit went downhill. Just kidding. But it did drive me to drink and cuss. Kidding again. I mostly just think it's funny to compare my "kid" self to my "grown-up" (???how did that happen???) self. Oh, and I literally AM the girl next door since I married the boy across the street. So, there's that.

Surely there are other things I could do besides blog. Of course there are. I just don't want to do any of them. What do I expect from this? Nothing, really. Why should anyone read it? Eh....I'm not sure...because you had a few spare minutes to avoid real work? You're looking for new bathroom reading material? Because I asked nicely?

Really, here's the deal. I like reading what other people have to say (well, some people anyway). I subscribe to a few blogs and look forward to reading them every day. I enjoy them because they either make me laugh or because I can personally relate to something they've written. I guess I'm hoping one of those things might happen here. Oh, and not to mention...ANYONE can write a blog. Literally. Anyone. Smart, dumb, rich, poor, young, old, short, tall, skinny, fat...ANYONE. I'm breathing so I meet the qualifications.



Some things I can tell you about my blog:
1.  The theme is mostly about me being a stay-at-home mom, because that's what I do. My "job", if you will. I'll be poking fun at MYSELF and my domestic [in]abilities.
2. I will not use real names. I'm using material from my life, so if you know me personally and think something I write sounds like it's about you, it might be. But, I will NOT use your name. So, the only person that will know it's you...is you. 
3. There might (will) be cussing. Not like a sailor, and nothing obscene. But, I'm guilty of using a 4-letter word here and there. I feel they can really help drive home a point. And sometimes they're just funny. But, I also think they can be overused - and then completely lose their effectiveness, so when you see them it will be sparingly.
4. I'd like to write every day, but I don't think that's very realistic for a couple of reasons. (a) I am notorious for getting bored halfway through finishing a project. (b) I know I will get writers block the minute I publicize this. I'm just hoping it doesn't last long.

If reading this was even the tiniest bit entertaining, please continue to tune in. Go back and read my previous posts (I read that you should make several entries before making your blog public, so like I said before - I've got a few up already). Share with your friends. I'm not above begging for an audience. I'd love to be a writer when I grow up.

6 comments:

  1. I love reading your posts. I would pay money to read this shit! We have so much in common. I was also a good girl in high school, however, I got right into the babymaking - wife thing (in that order) and have been at it for 17 years. I went from calling my butt a "bunky", to just telling people to kiss my ass! lmao. it happens. I also love the occasional adult beverage. Your blog makes me smile, you waited too long, but thanks.

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    1. You crack me up! And I totally remember "bunky". What a blast from the past! Thanks for the giggles.

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  2. Welcome to Blogville! I hope your swearing won't burn my eyes or anything. You know how I feel about that shit.

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    1. Murphy, you're such a crazy dood. And a little young to be using such foul language.

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  3. I'm so excited to have more of your funniness to fill my day;) I've always known you were awesome (even since our Mama Bryant days at 4 years old!) but now it's solidified. I can't wait to share your blog with my "grown-up" friends...
    Thank you sweet friend!!!

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    1. Aw, the good ol' days with Mama Bryant. Happy memories! Thanks for the love, sweets! xo

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